i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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