just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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