is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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