I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He kissed a someone with a penis
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
