oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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