S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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