My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
