Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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