if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
