You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
