i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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