Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
