apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
