i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize