i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I party with great urgency now.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
