listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
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I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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