I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
did you just send me my own nude
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
