the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
