some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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