my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
