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• (513): View more from Ohio

  he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates

  Fav 28 4231 881

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job

  Fav 56 5184 1751

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve

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• (850): View more from Florida

  It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  they're like a gay fantastic four

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• (425): View more from Washington

  ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

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• (916): View more from California

  He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES

  Fav 5 1118 548

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this

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• (406): View more from Montana

  "I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder

  Fav 3 464 170

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Too late, I'm convinced it's broken

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