Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish

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(352): Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish http://tfl.nu/gqzy

Replies (26) Good night (2903) Bad night (1161)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.

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(908): Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat. http://tfl.nu/zq2c

Replies (22) Good night (1462) Bad night (3622)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.

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(540): I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down. http://tfl.nu/t10x

Replies (12) Good night (2859) Bad night (694)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.

(917): View more from New York City

Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.

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(203): She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday. (917): Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA. http://tfl.nu/ow5e

Replies (11) Good night (9264) Bad night (1203)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween

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(978): Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween http://tfl.nu/fww2

Replies (38) Good night (6365) Bad night (1311)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.

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(862): Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea. http://tfl.nu/cd70

Replies (2) Good night (2650) Bad night (1233)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....

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(410): Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink..... http://tfl.nu/vd91

Replies (13) Good night (887) Bad night (1749)
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(516): View more from New York

I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book

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(516): I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book http://tfl.nu/reox

Replies (5) Good night (2282) Bad night (668)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"

(601): View more from Mississippi

Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.

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(601): I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?" (601): Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success. http://tfl.nu/blht

Replies (5) Good night (1998) Bad night (625)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...

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(440): Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?... http://tfl.nu/7sdw

Replies (7) Good night (753) Bad night (1016)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted

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(843): I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted http://tfl.nu/7fyh

Replies (3) Good night (1180) Bad night (614)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.

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(859): If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know. http://tfl.nu/ok32

Replies (6) Good night (976) Bad night (503)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants

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(612): Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants http://tfl.nu/1x5f

Replies (1) Good night (637) Bad night (510)
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(807): View more from Ontario

Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.

(519): View more from Ontario

does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.

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(807): Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes. (519): does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks. http://tfl.nu/6pcz

Replies (3) Good night (400) Bad night (781)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...

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(540): I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying... http://tfl.nu/wais

Replies (1) Good night (304) Bad night (585)

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