Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
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They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
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She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.