Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  life is too short to starve

  (678): View more from Georgia

  life is also too short to be fat

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  (336): life is too short to starve (678): life is also too short to be fat http://tfl.nu/v94u
  Replies (6) Good night (2694) Bad night (1472)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low

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  (845): i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low http://tfl.nu/h0oa
  Replies (7) Good night (777) Bad night (1273)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night

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  (815): Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night http://tfl.nu/n9gx
  Replies (4) Good night (1300) Bad night (3885)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I want my thong back.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I hate you tequila.

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  (763): I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong... (612): I want my thong back. (763): I hate you tequila. http://tfl.nu/u481
  Replies (16) Good night (5173) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.

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  (765): Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud. http://tfl.nu/41vp
  Replies (7) Good night (4647) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park

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  (610): my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park http://tfl.nu/hm3c
  Replies (23) Good night (1344) Bad night (5432)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.

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  (321): You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again. http://tfl.nu/dbiz
  Replies (8) Good night (4463) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?

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  (703): If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house? http://tfl.nu/eww0
  Replies (5) Good night (2627) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

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  (484): pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you. http://tfl.nu/yyvw
  Replies (2) Good night (1737) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok

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  (412): I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok http://tfl.nu/vgre
  Replies (7) Good night (2224) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death

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  (262): You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death http://tfl.nu/q3md
  Replies (4) Good night (1153) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.

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  (316): Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say. http://tfl.nu/5ny3
  Replies (10) Good night (980) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.

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  (626): Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan. http://tfl.nu/e06m
  Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (430): View more from Texas

  we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'

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  (430): we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you' http://tfl.nu/wtnu
  Replies (0) Good night (766) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been

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  (443): I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been http://tfl.nu/ofdd
  Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (201)

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