I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
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apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
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Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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