i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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