you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
