It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
