Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
