VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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