you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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