Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
