Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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