yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ugly people sure do ruin things
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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