I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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