Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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