i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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