I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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