I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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