He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
