it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
