I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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