It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
