I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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