we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
