Cold hands, warm shart.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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