Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
