why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
