Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i permit you to call me
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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