1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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