We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
