Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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