I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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