Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
