ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
