You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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