the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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