Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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