due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
