just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
this will be a night to untag.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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