let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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